"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Monday, January 21, 2013

Soul Food : No Peeping!


 We live in a world where we want everything quick & fast. If it cannot be acquired quickly then we find no point in chasing after it. We are so impatient & desire everything now! The days of actually waiting seem to be long gone. If we cannot just hurry it up, then we forget it. We are the, "I want it now" generation. Every experience has to be like using the microwave - if you see what I mean. This quick & fast culture has seeped into all aspect of our lives & everyone is affected : fast food, quick marriage, quick divorce, quick success, quick pleasure etc. The list goes on. Nothing is worth waiting for anymore - according to today's standards. But, this is a lie. One quote says, "nothing good comes easy" and easy is not quickly or fast. 
What happened to waiting?
We could touch on every example I laid out above but in this post, we're going to be talking about the [now almost inexistent] wait known as "abstinence" between a man & a woman

Oooh, I can just see some of y'all rolling your eye balls to your screens & saying, "I didn't know Funbi was old fashioned" or whatever. I don't care what you call it, but I'm going to talk about it either way. A classic example of scripture selection -  Christians actually think it is okay to ignore this dire issue  and live this part of their life however they seem fit - the wait called "no sex before marriage" between a couple virtually has no foothold in this society anymore. People get bullied for it, others are dissed. The whole order of things have been reversed. Now it's, "sex before marriage" or "sex before anything". Now, I know I'm touching on an issue a lot of churches prefer to avoid (as my Pastor says, sex is one of the 2 things that has become a taboo in the church), ignore or whatever because they think it's touchy & don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. However, these a things that need to be said so I'm going to be real about it.

A not so popular example I want to use to illustrate this issue is Isaac & Rebekah. In Genesis 24 : 64 - 65 I rediscovered a verse that still does not fail to amaze me :
 Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel  and asked the servant, 'Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?'
'He is my master,' the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself."

In this chapter, Abraham's servant went off to find a wife for Isaac his son from his family's clan. Everything went well and he was able to bring her to Isaac. The key sentence I want to point out is
"So she took her veil and covered herself."  
When Rebekah learnt it was her future husband that was peering at them to see, she covered herself. That just leaves me speechless.  The fact that they had never met or this was thousands of years ago does not change the universal message of this verse in anyway. A couple still remains a couple. In those days, it was no strange thing to not have met a future spouse before being given into marriage. But that's not the issue. Ask yourself this, why didn't Rebekah, in excitement ran ahead to Isaac and throw herself over him since she was going to be given to him anyway? In fact, having not met him before gave her the warrant to do so. 

There is an adage in my mother tongue [Yoruba] that says, "he that the bride is being brought to [the groom] does not need to peer". Why should he? He's going to get her anyway. Why the hurry? In a relationship [in any relationship in fact but that's another post] where marriage has been declared, there is no need to jump the gun. This comes from both men & ladies. The truth is, it's not God's will. Sex cannot be the foundation of a relationship or even have any part to do with the substructure. In the pyramid of marriage, sex is at the top not at the bottom.  Sex is just a physical aspect of marriage but once we put it first, it's like using a very weak foundation for an enormous house. If people would understand that sex is not what makes marriage, builds it or fuels it, a whole lot of effort will be put into avoiding it. 
As I stated earlier, both parties in the relationship have a part to play. Rebekah didn't jump the gun & Isaac [later on in the chapter] did things in the right order. The key verse especially speaks to women but the responsibility of waiting  rests on both the man & woman. 

Rebekah's veil stands for 
wisdom &

Instead of uncovering yourselves physically, emotionally & spiritually, ladies [for any guy that has not put a ring on your finger] throw on self-respect, integrity, purity, some wisdom & much virtue. 

If he insists on peeping, then sister, he isn't for you. 

God bless you


  1. blessed... I spoke on a tiny portion of waiting(purity) in my post today! Thanks for expanding on it. My 5 new found words as a lady- Self respect, integrity, purity, wisdom and virtue..

    1. All the glory be to God sis!!
      Remain blessed

  2. Love this post....speaks volumes and it was so timely!! Very happy that I made the decision to ask God to put a veil on me only allowing my husband to truly see me....for the months that i've been celibate there has been those that see me with the physical eye but my heart desires the one that sees me with a spiritual eye God Bless my sister!

    1. Hi Stephluvher.
      Thank you for stopping by! I thank God the post has been of help. It's all His doing. May God honor your decision & exceed your expectations!!
      God bless you too sis!

  3. this is the truth!
    thanks for sharing

    1. All the glory be to God sis!
      Thank you for stopping by!

  4. Wow! this is deep! Can I share this on my blog? With a link back here? Everyone needs to read this. I love the way you expanded on the veil and what it represents! Wise words from a woman of God! Truly an eye-opener.

    God bless you abundantly!

    Tell the World

    1. Hey! Of course you can!! I'd be honored.
      All the glory belongs to God alone.
      God bless you richly my dear!

  5. iLove.. Just hitting the nail on the head(s)!
    Thanks for this lovely insight into the Isaac and Rebekah story, I shall certainly be keeping it for the future...
    "Sex is just a physical aspect of marriage but once we put it first, it's like a very weak foundation for an enormous house" #word!

  6. I love you sis Funbi. Keep being a vessel who touches on topics many are scared to touch. God bless you.

    1. Awwww. I love you too my dear sister! All the glory be to God. May God bless you a hundred fold for all your kind words of encouragement & love. God bless you richly!


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