"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Letters Of encouragement : Low On Self Esteem


Growing up, was a constant inner battle. I was always trying to measure up but always coming up short. From my physique to the way I carried myself. I had a long mental list of what I should be like but could never actually really mount up. It was only much later, that I realized the only reason I could never meet that list or measure up was because I was trying to be someone I wasn't & measuring myself with the wrong measuring stick. I spent the biggest part of my teenage life trying to mirror other peoples' lives & questioning mine. The bottom line was, I didn't have much self esteem. I just didn't seem to be good enough in my eyes therefore, I couldn't mount up, being me, to my mates.
However, many years on & now a woman that believes fully in who God has moulded her into, I know that's a lie. What really gets me now, is not going through that period then, it's knowing there are many sisters & brothers going through it. Low self esteem can crush personality, kill dreams & motivation, making one seem worthless next to others. It can manifest itself in anyone, regardless of gender, age or race. It's a widespread phenomenon that has proliferated thanks to the media & it's "norms". These days, we are told what to look like, what to wear, what color hair we should have, what we should do, where we should go, what music we should listen to etc. Those that seem to not "fit in" to this checklist receive a different sort of treatment and this can spark or exacerbate low self esteem. Unfortunately, what many don't understand is, we can't all be what the system wants us to be, even when we try, because we are all different! We each need to be ourselves & believe in ourselves. There is something truly beautiful about diversity. It's in your uniqueness that you stand out. I don't know about others but I am tired of mass social clones & certainly would not want to be one or hang around with a bunch of people that are exactly like me. 
Nevertheless, the truth is, people are always going to look down on you. If you don't believe in who you are & stand for what you believe, they're going to end up crushing you. I once heard a wise saying, "if you don't stand for anything, you will fall for anything". Understand that low self esteem feeds on insecurity & any lack of self which are the seeds of lack of self confidence. Your self confidence needs to be rooted in something. If not, you can be self confident one minute & then someone waltzes by & just by looking at the way they dress your self confidence can crumble. When you know who you are & what you stand for, you need to anchor your confidence those things so that no matter what or who happens, you are not moved because you are sure of & believe in who you are.
People will always, and please hear me when I say ALWAYS, bring you down. Whether it be your school mates, age mates, even "friends", and sadly enough, family, it will happen. But when you have that inner self confidence, no matter what, just get up, brush off the dirt & move on!
Now before any one misunderstands me, self confidence is not pride. Though in our society, they are often confused. Many wear pride as if it's self confidence but the truth is, they are full of insecurities. Their pride covers the pain, doubts, fears & unassertiveness but does not take it away. To me, pride has no place in any healthy community but it is often the canvas of much of the glamour & glitz we see daily. Drop pride, because all pride does is hide what you really feel inside & give you a temporary, delusional view of yourself. No, you are not better than the next person but you are different. Self confidence is just that : confidence in yourself not someone else. 

Low self esteem blinded me from seeing where God wanted me to go & what He wanted me to be. It hindered me from using the unique attributes God gave me & hid away my talents. It was like, I was nothing & couldn't be something. But the devil was lying because now I know I was "fearfully and wonderfully made" [Psalm 139 : 14] & God's plans for me are to prosper me & not harm me; plans to give me a hope and a future [Jeremiah 29 : 11].
My self confidence is anchored on the one who is my all : Jesus. He is the definition of my life & defines everything I am & can ever be. What can man do or say to me, that can shake me when my confidence is anchored in Christ. He is the "friend that sticks closer than a brother" [Proverbs 18 : 24], the one that died for His friends [John 15 : 13], the one that gave everything, even His life for me. My comforter, shelter, deliverer & peace. My Rock [Psalm 18 : 2] & my salvation. It's in Him I have built my confidence because He's everything I believe in, stand for & live for. 

Don't let the world bring you down. Even when you fall sometimes, get up, grow from it & keep on going. You are special being just you. There is nothing plain about you. But you make the world just a little bit more special by being you.


  1. you are so right and i love the pix.
    it is by God's grace one can overcome low self esteem and i'm glad God saw you through
    i sent you a mail

    1. Yes indeed sis!
      I have replied your mail sis.

  2. I am very encouraged. continue to be gift to the world!

    1. All the glory be to God sis!! :)
      How are things going on your end sis?


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