"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Letters Of Encouragement : Bitterness

Pain is an inevitable part of life - especially in relationships - however, it's how we deal with it that matters. 
Over the years, I have accumulated some pain. Pain I couldn't seem to let go of, bad experiences that seemed to have left scars & people that have disappointed me over and over again. But, all that pain is unnecessary buildup & no way to live life.

Such cumulation leads to bitterness & anger. And I should know because I have experienced it. Bitterness is a very dangerous thing to carry around & one of the heaviest for of emotional baggage one can carry. Bitterness blinds & hinders one from moving on. Bitterness is a sort of umbilical cord that connects one to the past. With bitterness, it is hard to enter new relationships; difficult to focus on the future & strenuous to get involved in new projects. Bitterness connects us to the past & instead of looking forward, we are held back by the painful memories of past experiences. 

The key to letting go or avoiding bitterness is to forgive & forget as a result
You need to forgive those that have hurt you and even yourself - if need be - to be able to move on properly. As Colossians 3 : 13 says "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you". God forgave & forgot all our iniquities when we came to Christ and He still does when we confess any sin we commit. As Psalm 103 : 12 righty says, "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us". God does not bring to remembrance our past mistakes or recurrent sins. Rather He forgives us & forgets. 
To evade bitterness, we need to  heal from any pain we might of faced or scars we might be nursing. The key to total healing is forgiving % forgetting. To forget is not enough because that's ignoring whatever happened yet carrying the pain in you. Refusing to face the pain is not forgiveness but forgiving & forgetting is truly letting go.
I cannot expound enough on how dangerous bitterness is. It can rot a person's joy & make one unable to face the future & take advantage of one's talents. 
Whatever might be the pain, old scars or unpleasant memories; past disappointments, failed relationships or missed opportunities, you need to let go. Don't let your dwelling on the past make you miss out on the present & loose sight of the future. The past is the past and there is so much to the right now and the future. You cannot focus on your future if you keep holding on to the past. Stop looking to the past because your future is not there. It's ahead of you.
Don't let bitterness destroy your present relationships, disable you or transform you into a very angry person.
As I stated at the beginning, pain is a part of life, but we just have to handle it properly.

Another thing I've learnt is that it's not easy to forgive & forget and in fact, the flesh cannot do it alone. We need God to give us the grace. If you find yourself in a situation where you are finding it hard to forgive & forget, go to God and He will help you through. Ask Him to help you forgive like He forgives us and healing will enter your heart. But you also have to be totally ready to let go. You can't still be actively dwelling on the past. 
By faith, let go and let God.


  1. Thank you for this post. Il est juste et tombe bien à propos. :)

    1. All the glory be to God sis!
      So glad it was of help!


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