"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Musings & Loneliness

Many times in the past and even still sometimes now, I find myself feeling so alone. I'm not talking about the physical absence of people or things around me, no. This kind of loneliness has nothing to do with who  or what is physically there but rather, how I relate to them. This kind of loneliness comes from within, deep inside and it's so deep, sometimes I find myself forgetting it's even there. Of course, a few hours or some days at a time, this feeling can be buttered up and covered making it's existence unfelt. However, when the temporary emotions wear out, they uncover the void that had already been there.

I have dealt with a lot of things and loneliness is not new to me. However, I have come to realize I have been dealing with it and diagnosing it from the wrong angle. This feeling of loneliness has physical causes but stems deeper than the physical. As I hinted before, it's not really about having things or being with people, it's about having the right thing at the right time and being with the right people especially when I really need it the most. I have dealt and harbored this for too long and these past few days I have realized it is time to let go. No more, am I dealing with this. No more will I lean on people to bring me temporary happiness that can never fill. No more will I go looking for things or people to fill me. No.

The answer has been inside of me all along. Joy. Real joy defies circumstances, location, people and things. Real joy depends on nobody but me. I decided whether to be joyful or not and whether I am filled or not. Loneliness carries with it lack of purpose, negativity, depression, shame and low self esteem. But I'd said goodbye to all these things over the years, I am not taking them back. They used to live here, but they have no place here no more. The truth of the matter is, loneliness is not countered by who is there or what we are doing, but it is countered by what is inside of us. When joy fills us so much, where does loneliness come in? 

Where does joy come from, you ask. I am not talking about happiness or that kind of joy you get for one night while hanging out with I don't know who but I am talking about joy that is there even when the tears are racing down your cheeks. Joy that assures you that no matter what today or tomorrow brings, I am good and nothing or nobody can take it away. 
The only place this kind of joy comes from is Jesus. 
If we let Him, He can fill our hearts with joy.

" you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand" Psalm 16 : 11

This verse really sums it all up. There is nothing we need that God cannot give us and in His presence, there is fulness of joy. What an awesome promise.
I have therefoc re made the decision. 
Loneliness does not belong in me because Jesus lives in me. And since I have been filled with real joy, I am not empty at all. My joy does not depend on nobody and nothing I have or need. It comes from within. Loneliness has therefore left me and with it all it's baggage.
Through Christ, I am free indeed [John 8 : 36]
Glory be to His name!

I personally do not know if you have also been in such a situation but I am here to tell you no to look around you but upwards. God not only gives us physical things and fulfill our day to day physical needs but He also tends to our emotional ones too. He is a compassionate God. He is a loving Father and He truly cares for us. Open your heart to Him and let Him in. When you enthrone Him in your heart, nothing the world pushes at you will ever bring you down, shake or uproot you. He is a sure foundation. And even to show His love, He will use people far and near to show you love and compassion.



  1. This is beautifully writen! YES, I have also been there. BUT I choose to be there no longer! My heavenly Daddy has given me joy and peace thar transcends all human understanding. I don't need a certain situation before I learn to be joyful. I believe He's teaching us to lean and depend on Him at ALL times. THANK GOD. Lesson learnt!

    Tell the World

    1. Yes, He is truly teaching us a lesson. All the glory be to His name!

  2. I think the loneliness you describe is something that we all go through, but your absolutely right, leaning and depending on God for your joy is the only way one will be filled with all consuming, no matter what happens joy. In times like this I retreat to my 'secret place' and find peace in the joy of the Lord x

    1. Yes indeed sis!! We have to lean on Him 100%

  3. I personally, like you, have felt lonely so many times. Sometimes I seem happy when there are people around but then, when I go back to my room or I'm by myself, the empty feeling returns. Sometimes, it brings me to the realisation that man will always go away but God is always present. So I think, though loneliness is bad, it can bring us to a positive light for we come to realise that our maker is always right by our side...."Ill be with you until the end...He has promised"...

    1. Yes indeed sis! People come and go but God is the only one that will always be around. We do need to be alone sometimes to truly spend time with God and know He is always there.

  4. Amen. Love this post and so grateful of the grace, love, joy, and mercy he extends to us.
    I can totally relate and will take seriously the advice of looking Heavenward as opposed to looking around and see if others can fill me up or give me joy.

    Have a good weekend.


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