"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Relationships : One Way Attraction


Blessings beauties and gents!!

I was sitting at home one day and thinking about my past experiences...just reminiscing about the things of old when I suddenly stumbled upon an experience I had that lasted up to four years. What happened was that I had something in between a crush and a non crush for a certain mister but my feelings could only burn in me and cause some emotional stress. It was a weird and ridiculously long story that I cannot help but laugh over once in a while but the point of it all is this : it was a one way attraction because even when [I am almost sure he did] became aware about how I felt, nothing changed.

So ladies and gents, my question to you is, how do you deal with that?

The truth of the matter is, it hurts. When that certain special somebody does not necessarily feel the same way you do and reciprocate your feelings.
But I will advice you all not to do, according to my small experience is :

- don't try and force it : this only seems to aggravate things and then take you on an emotional roller coaster. If it's meant to be, it will be. No matter how many times you try to manipulate events, stalk the person or make them notice you, it really does not change much other than waste you your time and energy. Just sit still, be yourself and be patient.

- don't think about it : this is one reason why we, especially as women, loose it. We suddenly loose our focus and are distabilized. We forget we have a job, responsibilities, home work, friends, hobbies...Just be yourself and keep on living life. If you are loosing sleep because of this certain person, you need to sit down, take a deep breath and just let it go. Worrying or thinking about it does not change anything it just makes you feel worse. 

- try not to talk too much about it : talking helps but try not to tell the whole world. For one, not everyone really cares about keeping it to themselves. This could only bring embarrassment and unnecessary attention on yourself and situation. When you really feel you need to talk about it, call up someone you really trust and who is especially neutral - that is, is not friends with /related to the certain special somebody.

- pray : I seriously have prayed about a lot of guys that have showed up in my life in the past. Most of them, I never even got to become friends with but I still prayed about it. You see, nothing is too small to pray about or too insignificant. Let God lead you. There is no point in wasting precious energy on a person Go does not want you to end up with. God knows best. If you are meant to be with that person, it will turn out just fine. If not, God will still work things out. 

 That mister I had something for for four years is now nothing but a simple friend. It's funny because I used to remember praying about just having the chance to converse with him, now that seems so banal to me. Nothing happened between us and now I thank God for it.

Remember, God has the master plan to your life, He sees everything, beginning and end. So, why not just trust Him with your feelings?

So tell me, have you ever been in such a situation?
If so, how did you act?
How did it turn out?



  1. I hate it when that happens.I try to move on and trust God to help me esp with my behaviour.It sucks but it happens and you just have to know and accept it for what it is.If he was meant to notice you and respond with the pure affection you need,he would have.Thats my comfort.

  2. @Matilda : Yes, I totally agree sis!

  3. such an awesome post, I thought I was the only one who still prayed about being attracted to a guy, one of the things I've learnt is that if it takes away your focus from God or plans that God has set for your life then it isn't "meant to be" (such a corny statement lol but true)I've promised myself to wait for the kind of love that is described in Songs of Songs, it's just sooo beautiful and pure and passionate (kind of like God's love for us) that anything less than that just seems ridiculous. Oops sorry for the essay lol xxx

  4. @Aurélie Ariel : Glory be to God sis! You are right, we should not desire anything less than the romance of Songs of Solomon! And the devil does use these "attractions" we sometimes feel to distract us from God. Thank you sis for stopping by and commenting!! :D

  5. awww.... It's like my story... it's usually either I like him and he doesn't want me/like me enough..... or he is crazy about me and the thoughts of being with him KILLS ME!

    I really like your post and I relate... what I do is in as much as I might really like the person I talk about having a crush on him like it's not a big deal and make pple I talk to about it know that am not desperate I just like the whole idea//

    When he 'dumps' me I just move on to the next like 'dust it off"

  6. btw I think my advice is really bad I live in my own world not everyone can handle things my way and remain sane lol

  7. @Abi Tobi : I see what you mean sis!! I'm glad you liked the post!


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