"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Relationships : How Do I Know He's Interested?


Blessings and love beauties and gents!!

I pray you have all had a wonderfully blessed Monday!

 I am going to be talking about something that has never really been visited on DatFunkyFro. This is my first post of my most recent topic called Relationships. 
Please note that I am in no way a relationship counsellor, or anything near it. I am in no way professional when it comes to relationships but I'm a woman who wants to share and want to learn much more about it.
Now, with all that being said, today's topic is about the question, I'm sure most of us ladies have asked ourselves at least once - how do I know he's interested in me? or how do I know he likes?

Many believe this is a question only teenagers ask but believe me sisters, these questions are relevant today for even the matured, adult woman.

So how do you know a guy likes your vibe, wants to get to know you better  or wants to make you his girl? I've also asked myself this many times, about different guys and all I can really say is that, not everything is the way it seems, and I have gathered this from my past experiences.

The truth of the matter is, unless the guy says it with his own lips, then there really is no rule to knowing if a guy is really interested. It really depends on the guy and you.

However, we as women, we love to dream and turn the littlest things into a story.

We see a guy staring at us and we start putting two plus two in our heads to make five. The brother could just have been staring at your beautiful hair and wondering how you go it that way, or he could be staring thinking you were someone he knows or he could just be a million miles away day dreaming with his eyes carelessly on you. Seriously, I don't think this is a good indication of if a guy is interested or not especially if it's not a brother you know personally but maybe the guy on the bus or the guy you always see in the grocery store.
Now if it's a brother you know and speak to, well, it's a bit on a different scale. If you find him staring at you well...apart from it being awkward I'd say he might be wanting something more than your friendship.

What else? Some women think because a guy always wants their attention he might be interested. I disagree. This guy might just enjoy your company and friendship without wanting anything more. There are many guy like this. They want to talk to you, call you but just maybe for advice or because they genuinely care for you as a friend. It doesn't always mean he is interested.

What about the guys - mostly guys at work or at school - that start getting all gentle with you and taking out dirt from your hair when they see it and touching your shoulder when they speak to you and stuff like that? Again, this doesn't really mean anything. There are guys that are just like that.

Now, let me play two different scenarios :

● you are at school and there's this guy you always see in the library and he is always stealing looks at you...what's the verdict? Well...there is a good chance the brother might want to get to know you better or even ask you out so as to get to know you better.

● you find one of your guy friends wanting to spend more time with you all of a sudden, complimenting you and being so caring...again, he it does not mean he is interested.

At the end of the day, if you really want to know if a guy's interested in you well, wait to hear it from him. There is no fruit or fun in speculating.

Another thing is, whether he's interested or not shouldn't really matter unless you are interested yourself...

How do you ladies know if a guy is interested?
How do you gents act around the ladies you are interested in? How do you let her know?



  1. This is such a COOL post! I knew I would love the posts on relationships!! U are so right, us as women love to speculate and make up a story out of every little thing, trying to read a meaning out of just a smile for example. But the thing is guys are less dreamers. They can be blunt and unimaginative. A guy staring at you can mean A THOUSAND THINGS without it meaning he is interested. And it's sad to say sometimes you think they're staring at you but they don't even notice! Goodness! We ladies give ourselves a hard time speculating!

    Tell the World

  2. This also reminds me of a STORY a friend of mine told me out of her EXPERIENCE. She went to the gym one day and saw this fine brother. She went the next day and he was there. From then on, her motivation for going to the gym was this guy. He would look at her sometimes and she would smile but he would just look away. This pained her. One day a girl couldn't figure out how to use a machine and he explains it to this girl who was actually right beside my friend but he ignores my friend. She was hurt....

    Tell the World

  3. Until one day at the gym when she wanted to use a machine only to realize this guy wanted to use the same and HE SPOKE TO HER!!! They started talking and the guy she had been so SURE was ignoring her (not returning her smiles and so on)and didn't care asks her this question: Do you come here often? Because I've never seen you here!!!!! And she tells him she comes EVERYDAY and he looks at her like 'SERIOUSLY??'So all those times she thought the guy was purposely not returning her smiles and ignoring her, he just basically didn't notice! He might have been looking at her but his mind was elsewhere!! That day at the gym they became friends. But it's just crazy when you think about the fact that she had imagined all these stories in her head about how she must be so badlooking that the guy wouldn't smile back or bother talking to her! Her story made me laugh and TAUGHT ME A LESSON!

    Again thnx for sharing Sis, may God continue to grant u wisdom!

    Tell the World

  4. @ FunTó : LOL!! Yes, you are right!! These guys we speculate about might not even have a clue we exist. Thanks for the great comment sis!!

  5. lol...i've read everything and i like the last comment;they might not even know we exist...its sad but good still

  6. lool i like this post...i tot i was da only one dat speculated...not knwin all u girls do da same lol...i even end up marrying guys in my head sumtimes lool...but it's all gud...i guess it's part of our "nature"...wink wink lol

  7. @ Tily : LOL yes!

    @ xflashinLITESx : No you are not the only one sis!! I have also dreamt up some crazy stories! Yes, it's definitely our nature! LOL!

  8. haha! u r soo right... it's like when I see a fine looking man and keep staring, it's not because I want him *cough* am just appreciating the Lord's work on him *excuse u*.... and also, because I flirt back doesn't mean I am interested, am just having fun and really, u can tell when a guy just enjoys that and wants nothing more...

    But guys give cues tho.... the ones that want to be serious with u, tho many of them might be lustful or might just like ur person. But some give cues, like straight out cues.... some of them might not even mention it, they show it... like taking u on dates, long-late-night calls (not the "my brother" type) :p and so on

    But I have a standing rule now... because like many women, I sometimes overanalyze details..
    the rule is: If I doubt it in my heart that he wants more, or that we are not just friends then he prolly doesn't take me seriously soo in my mind/head we CAN'T be more...

  9. @ Abi Tobi : lol!! You are right!!! Some of them are direct and others prefer to send their message across through their actions. To me, they are both appreciated, as long as they are clear enough and they know exactly what they want! And like you, I also prefer to just concentrate on the real, than dream and so I tell myself it's not going anywhere but if God says otherwise, then so be it! Love your comment :D


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