"The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?"

- Psalms 27 : 1

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Love Your Black : "Why Are You Natural"?


Hello ladies!!

So, I got this question during the weekend from a dear sister in the Lord I consider as an aunt.

She said to me, "...you wear you hair natural" and I, fascinated that she noticed (I don't know why I always think my coils are invisible...lol) and I sort of say "yes..." and then she asked me : "why??..."

Now, let me tell you that, I felt sort of awkward. I know she didn't mean it as a rude comment, in fact, far from it, she was just asking a genuine question but...I really never though I'd ever be asked that question. In the moment, I said something like, "because I love it and my hair is healthier" but as I thought about it later on, the real response to that question is "because I was created that way."

It really amused me to think about it later on...don't we all have someone that has genuinely asked us such a question?? And haven't we all been faced with the same awkwardness??
It's normal because, it's like asking a farmer why he doesn't just dye his green grapes red. 
Okay, I know that is a weird example but you get what I mean...

Now, moving to the bigger picture...Isn't that how we think these days?? Since when has perming our hair become the norm? Why is it that when you decide to go natural, bam!! Everyone wants to know why? Do you have to have a problem with a perm before deciding to grow your God-given hair?

But sadly, this is the society we live in and a lot of us women of African descent are still under this mentality. I have nothing against women who choose to perm their hair at all, in fact, my sister perms her hair and I do all I can to help her take care of it but what I have a problem is, is people making it the norm.

Let's face it, it's not the norm. We need to accept, both African descent men and women alike, ourselves the way we have been created and admit that whatever change we decide to make comes second after our God-given traits!

I do not believe everyone that asks the question "why are you natural?" hate themselves or do not accept their God-given self but I think they love and accept the image society has moulded of THE black woman.
 It's time we looked back to who we really are and accept and agree that we are and have what we have and love ourselves for these unique traits.

In the trailer, Dark Skin, a girl spoke about natural hair and she said, amongst other things, that it was "the nastiest thing ever". Now I'm not zeroing on her, but I was shocked when I saw that. It shook my heart and it hurt. I mean, here was sister, feeling so grossed out a natural trait God has given her and others like her. 
She isn't the only one. It's all over and the saddest truth is that we are our own worst critics!!

Have you ever been in such a situation? If so what was your reply. If not what would you reply?



  1. This is sad, it's the "nastiest thing ever"??? Wow, and I'm sure there are hundreds of people who probably share the same views. I just had an issue with a co-worker who has asked me one too many times why I choose to wear my hair all "wild" in the office. Mind you, she is not my superior, just a co-worker so her questioning didn't really require a response but I entertained her anyway. I had my hair in a very nice twist-out if I do say so myself. Well, after a couple of days, the twists started to frizz so I wore a nice puff and the first thing this "woman" said when she saw me was, "Oh, I see you've tamed that hair of yours today." Granted, my "Maybe you should take notes” response was unnecessary but I feel like this, I don't have to explain to her why I choose to do anything to MY body, my hair, etc. I don't question why she wears her ponytail every day, or why her gut hangs out of her shirts every day. Why? Because it's none of my business and although it's a sight for sore eyes, at the end of the day, she doesn't affect me, my bills, income, personal life, or the like.
    I'm natural because that was my choice. I wasn't forced to go natural, no one put a gun between my eyes and told me to go natural or else. I made the decision and quite frankly, why should I have to continue to defend my decision? People kill me, when something is different from the norm, instead of trying to understand and learn, people are quick to judge and condemn.
    The lady, who questioned you of course, sounds like she sincerely was inquisitive as to why you made that choice and more than likely, didn’t have the same negative connotation as the woman on my job. And just like you stated, it's because relaxed STRAIGHT hair has become the norm in society. So much that we are burning our heads, causing long-term damage and prohibiting our hair from growing past our shoulders because we continue to strive for this standard of beauty that was never ours to begin with.

    Sorry for all the writing, I think I was just venting. Lol!

  2. I was JUST thinking the same thing minutes ago. My hair is natural, because that's how it grows. It's crazy how until I was in my 20's it never even crossed my mind that I could do something other than relax my hair.

  3. WOW!! Kiianah! Thank you for your timely and great comment!! I really don't now if I would be able to stand your colleague! I mean talk about being plain RUDE!! I really do not appreciate comments like that. I mean it's one thing to ask why we go natural, it's another to make rude and snidey comments about our hair!! It's just terrible! YES! It hurts to think sooo many people see our hair as the "nastiest thing ever" but it's time we changed that!! I'm not standing for any rude comments anymore and I think neither of us should! Thanks again for the comment! It was a good read! :)

  4. LaNeshe, you are definitely right!! It naturally grows that way!!It's like so many people out there are oblivious to this fact!! I also never used to think twice before perming...that's the sort of robot response the society has jammed into our heads! Thanks for the comment sis! :)

  5. I just want to say that it's not only the african women that want to dye their hair. I can see a lot of my (white) friends who don't like their natural color or hair as well.
    For me, I like to keep it natural. Not because it is wat God has given me (cause I don't believe in God), but it's just not conforming to what has become the norm. Being happy with the way you were born. (which basically is the same thing you said offcourse) ;-)

  6. Hey smiley! Thank you so much for your comment! I understand what you mean but it's not just about perming and either way there is nothing wrong with dying the hair or perming as long as it's not considered as the norm!


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